What were you doing at 7 am this morning? I was googling how to get an entire bottle of baby lotion off new laminate flooring...
If you can say that you have ever googled something like that, I'm deeply sorry and you have my sympathies. At no point did I ever think that I would say the sentences I have uttered, google the weird questions I've encountered or experienced any of the straight up freakishness that embodies my children. The very ones that just a few short years ago I held in my arms for the very first time. You see all those sweet sweet pictures of babies in arms...not once did you picture nearly sliding to your death on the latest booby trap set by your precious children, did you? Me either.
Now, I work with toddlers a couple of times a week and I've grown accustomed to the judgmental stares from them as I make some noise/face/action to get the newest classmate to stop crying and adjust to a new experience. Toddlers cannot hide their judgement, tho to be honest - I doubt they would if they could. Seriously, I don't have to take that from someone who squeals and loses their minds over spheres of soapy water floating in the air. Know what I mean? Yeah you do... Their judgement pales to that of my own children as I nearly lost my life (and to a lesser extent, my backside) as I skittered across the floor of their room trying to figure out what dimension I just walked into or if there were secret cameras somewhere. Nope, just your average day with my children...
Were you also aware that about a half bottle could be spread over the entirety of a standard floor rug? It's possible. I promise. Fear not, said rug was permanently removed and I spent a solid hour de-icing the floor, removing anything else they might use against me or the flooring. I'm sure I didn't get everything, but then they are creative little mad scientists.
Pray for me, people. Seriously. They're only 2.5 and 4... What am I going to do by the time they're preteens or teens?
Oh and in case you wondered, the best way to clean that up is paper towels, swiffer wet jet with the laminate flooring solution, baby wipes, swiffer wet jet, baby wipes, and finally swiffer wet jet again. Just tuck that into the back of your brain if you have small ones or are considering them in the future.
What did parents do before google?! Sheesh....
